Trust.

Trust Is...

- Letting others know your feelings, emotions and reactions, and having the confidence in them to respect you and to not take advantage of you.

- Sharing your inner feelings and thoughts with others with the belief that they will not spread them indiscriminately.


- Placing confidence in others so that they will be supportive and reinforcing of you, even if you let down your "strong'' mask and show your weaknesses.


- Assuming that others will not intentionally hurt or abuse you if you should make an error or a mistake.


- The inner sense of acceptance you have of others with whom you are able to share secrets, knowing they are safe.


- The sense that things are fine; that nothing can disrupt the bond between you and the other.


- The ability to let others into your life so that you and they can create a relationship built on an understanding of mutual respect, caring, and concern to assist one another in growing and maturing independently.


- The glue or cement of relationships that allows you to need others to fulfill yourself.


- Opening yourself up to let others in on your background, problems, concerns, and mistakes with the assurance that they will not ostracize you because of these things.


- The act of placing yourself in the vulnerable position of relying on others to treat you in a fair, open, and honest way.

Why Is It Hard To Trust Others?

- Experienced a great deal of emotional or physical abuse or neglect.

- Been constantly put down for the way they feel or for what they believe.

- Been emotionally hurt in the past and are not willing to risk getting hurt in the future.

- Had problem relationships in the past where they were belittled, misunderstood, or ignored.

- Experienced the loss of a loved one through death. They can get so caught up in unresolved grief that they are unable to open themselves up to others, fearing they will be left alone again due to death, or, abandonment.


- Experienced a hostile or bitter divorce, separation, or end of a relationship. They may be unable to believe anyone who opens up to them in a new, committed relationship.


- Been reared in or have lived in an environment emotional or physically unpredictable and volatile.


- Experienced a great deal of pain at the hands of another. Even if the other finally recognizes and accepts the responsibility to change such behavior, the person fears that if they let their guard down, the pain and hurt will begin again.


- Low self-esteem and cannot believe that they are deserving of the attention, care, and concern of anyone. They have problems even trusting the positive, healthy, and reinforcing behavior of another who is sincere.


- Experienced a great deal of non-provoked victimization in their lives. They are unwilling to trust people, situations, or institutions for fear of being victimized again.

I know I've been guilty of disrespecting trust. I've been guilty of disrespecting peoples' feelings, peoples' lives, and people in general; however, it's still hard. It's hard to see those bonds break, those ties cut, and those ropes cut.

So next time ask yourself who you trust, ask yourself if you really trust them. Then after that question, think about if you trust yourself.

-Alan.